If you are reading this, I’d like you to first off know I am a time traveler. You don’t have to believe me, but give me a chance. Everyone fantasizes over the idea of time travel and in more cases than not, the use of it has consequences. I’m just letting you know I understand everything about it. I’m not sure where this message will end up or who’s eyes it will meet. But I need someone, somewhere, to know of this. I need to tell you how horrible of a person I am. I want to tell myself if I were aware, that I wouldn’t do such things. But I am left feeling uncertain. After all, I did do those things. I thought it was a dream at first. When that faded and reality set in, it didn’t matter whether it was reality or fantasy, because my wildest dreams were coming true. My life before wasn’t bad. But it can always be better, you can attain absolute power. People tend to believe they’d help people out if only they had amassed that fortune instead of that other guy. No, almost everyone is selfish. I’d like to hope not everyone is, which is why I say almost everyone. I probably shouldn’t have messed with things in the first place. I could have at least done positive things. I’m almost certain this was a test, and I was a test subject. There were surely other test subjects, and there will surely be more tests. I wonder what the tests could be for. I theorized that God is thinking of purging our world completely, and that he is testing the good of human beings. Or that God is looking for a replacement. There is no telling, because I haven’t been told any of this. I caused so much damage and became so corrupt. I treated life like it was a video game. I want to vomit. One thing I have to mention is that I never went to the future. Maybe it wasn’t a possibility. I don’t know because I didn’t even try. I had a plan, which involved bringing modern weaponry to the past. I started at times that had no weaponry whatsoever, so that I faced no danger. At this point it felt like a dream. But after I shot lead through the head of a creature that looked human but not quite, I knew it was reality. It was just too real. The sound of the gunshot ringing, the splatter of blood and its strong scent. Then I looked down at it. It wasn’t human yet, but it was what would lead to man as we know it. I didn’t feel guilty though. I felt a rush of excitement. I had the power to do anything with no consequences, I thought. I went around shooting more creatures that looked like man. I went to many different timelines in the deep past, making a game out of it. Me vs man of the past, that were defenseless against my guns. I don’t know how many worlds I created from that, but I spent lots of time making target practice of old humans. It was so fun. There was no one to stop me. I also went further back to when there were dinosaurs. Killing dinosaurs was even more fun. It was far more dangerous too, it was like increasing the difficulty in a game. I was fine as long as I kept track of my bullets, and I could change time relatively fast. Killing old creatures was only the beginning though. After that, I decided to go to the time period that interested me most, which was Egypt. I figured out how they made those pyramids so fast. I am not going to spoil that surprise though. When I first arrived, I realized I wanted to leave soon. It was hot and dry. I could go anywhere I wanted, yet I was going to this hellish wasteland. I realized it was worth it when I saw the pyramids though. I ran into a group of people and shot one of them instantly. I found and killed their leader. I had sex with whoever I wanted. I repeated this process throughout every time and place I went to. I had the power to do what I want. No one could stop me so why not? I could quickly change timelines and pretend like those things never happened. But they did happen. I caused suffering. It wasn’t a game, I did this to real people. I ran away until God stopped me, and made me see the effect I had on every world I went to. I had to see the tears and struggles of real people, and know I was the one who ruined their lives. God erased those timelines, but I can’t help but wonder the other suffering that has been caused. How many others are like me? Bound by no laws, are there people with a true heart? I can only hope. I’m going to look. Whoever is reading this, please take in all I’ve said. God never punished me further. What he showed me was insuperable torture for me, God knows it. I don’t know what is going to happen now. Are the experiments still going? What are the results from other experiments? I’m still here, still able to write this. Power is addicting, and humans have problems with addiction. If we don’t change ourselves then this might be the end for us. I don’t know what to do. Please, someone out there. HELP!!
I haven’t made a post in awhile. Here I am again. I could be speaking into a void. Even if I am, that doesn’t matter. Because I’m doing this for myself. I am beginning to take writing more seriously. I almost quit completely, thinking perhaps I should dedicate myself to another field. I came back though, and I’ve made my decision. I don’t want to do anything else but write. But if I want to get there, I’ll have to earn it. It won’t be easy but I’m going to make it happen.
1st Goal: Make a habit to write at a certain time each day. Preferably I’ll start getting up early like I want to and write decently early. I’ll adjust depending on how I feel during those morning hours, it could be that the afternoon would be better. I’ll see!
2nd Goal: Write 1,000 words daily. I feel this will be easier once I establish my habit of writing at the same time each day. Stephen King recommends 2,000 per day, and mentioned starting at 1,000 is a good place. I don’t think it will be too difficult since I’ve written well over 1,000 on some days when working on certain writing prompts.
3rd Goal: Read a lot. Regular novels/ books on writing. I have no amount of pages/ amount of time per day I want to read set for the time being. Though a new years goal was to read 12 this year (I’m going to exceed that goal).
4th Goal: Win a writing contest. This is the highest goal for me right now. I’m not going to even try and write a novel right now, that would be like trying to lift 200 pounds with noodle arms. I’ve learned that it isn’t good to start on something big. For now, I’ll follow these simple goals. Once I can prove to win a writing contest, that will show my competence. Until then, I won’t bother with anything else. Even after I’ve read a lot and wrote a lot, it is useless if I can’t win a contest. So this is what I’m aiming for now. I’ll fail until I win. Then from there I’ll set the bar further.
What is the circle? The circle is kind of like a mental blockage, a cycle of failure. It keeps us from doing what we truly want to do. Well we are doing what we want to do while in the circle, even if those are bad things. We have toxic desires that keep us from our ultimate goals. We may try for awhile to break the cycle of the circle, but ultimately end up going back down, and then circling back up and back down. This is better than going down and not coming back up, but in this state you will never achieve what you want, so you’ll ultimately be unhappy and unfulfilled in your life. This has happened to me many times for example with fitness goals. I’ve worked hard at working out, but then end up going in a circle because for awhile I go downhill. What is the point if that is going to happen? I at least have never let myself completely go, but I am not where I desire to be. And I won’t get there if I continue being caught in the circle. This happens with many people on New Years, many people set this goals and go to the gym or workout for like a 2 weeks maybe even only 1, and then they throw in the towel. People want things to happen fast, and when they don’t, many people fail there. Changing the way we are now is not easy by any means. Once you get a taste of the pleasures the current time has to offer, you’d want to be consuming them all you can. Some people use things to fill a void. Us people get used to things, and then do not want to change our ways. Like many people may not be able to live without waking up and going on Facebook or Twitter first thing, and have gotten into the habit of going and refreshing those sites over and over. There is a lot that can be discussed about this, but bottom line is that we get too used to these things and when they are a part of our life that is a pattern we don’t like to change, that makes it hard to be productive. Some people think having a certain schedule can make things better for your life, but what if you live by an unpredictable schedule? You start doing things to switch up life as you are used to it. Not an extreme change, but slowly start changing things. We are caught in the circle for a reason after all, we are caught here because we have bad habits and are too used to how things currently are. For example I’ll take my habit of soda drinking I once had. I liked to drink a glass everyday. Quitting completely just wasn’t possible, I was too used to having it everyday. Sure cutting off access completely would be an option, but that will make the craving reside inside of yourself. Whenever you get the chance, you’ll take that craving up on its offer. What is better is to slowly decrease the amount you drink, and replace it with better habits. I switched from drinking soda, to iced tea. It had that sweetness, and though still bad, it wasn’t as bad as the soda I drank. I also went from the iced tea to drinks like apple juice. I started to drink more water too. Is there a way to ween off of social media and other time wasters? You can first of all try limiting your time online, though some people work online and don’t have that option, you could still make an effort to cut down just a little. If you wanted to replace your social media habit with a better habit like reading, you could start by reading shorter stories and fun articles during time you would have spent refreshing social media. One of the things I mentioned before is that people want things to happen fast, they want things over with fast, they want to go on to the next thing fast, especially if they don’t really enjoy it. So if you aren’t used to reading, you’ll be suffering trying to get through pages, even if it is a good book. You can start by swearing to read 5 pages a day, just 5 pages. Tell yourself you’ve read more than most people on that day (it would be true) and if you make this into a habit everyday, you’ll gradually read more and actually enjoy it. So this rule that applies to everything, is to take it slow. That is how to break out of the circle. Don’t run at it blindly and get caught in the circle. Because progress is still progress, if you keep at it and make it into a good habit, you can stay out of the dreaded circle.
It can be hard to find a quiet moment, especially with the way the world is now. We have access to so much content, we can keep refreshing and getting new content to make ourselves content. Though with us constantly going through all this stuff, we don’t find much time for quiet moments. You have to make a real effort to find quiet moments in this noisy world. Meditation is very beneficial, so is just finding some time in your day to just sit there and listen to the quiet. Lots of times, important ideas may pop into your head or you may be inspired. You may be able to listen to your gut on something and make a wiser decision. You can be quiet and think of things, or you can meditate and try and clear your mind. Of course you don’t need to have a perfectly clear mind, you can still think of things, but the objective is to let go of those thoughts and not ponder on them too long. Sometimes it is hard to stay consistent with meditation. You want to do it because people say it has all these benefits, but when you do it, you don’t feel the benefits right away. The same goes for many things, we want to get good fast but don’t see the results we want, or if it isn’t a get good quick thing, we abandon ship. With meditation your ego wants to tell you that you are just sitting there wasting time and that after mediating 10 minutes you should be seeing spirits or something. But really, you should just try and get into the habit of finding time for quiet and or meditation, and be consistent and don’t have expectations, just let it all go.
Astral travel is astral projection except you are traveling around the astral world. Which is a version of the real world, except you are in an out of body form. Just think about it, you’d be able to travel anywhere you desire in an instant, free of cost. Time isn’t of any worry, you are using time you would normally be sleeping to instead travel around the world to where you want. It wouldn’t be good to be using the dream/ astral world as a form of escapism from the real world, but with how stressful the real world can be, how could you blame anybody for wanting to escape it with this. If there were some pill to make people able to instantly escape their body, everyone would be using it. People don’t astral project now because they don’t have the time and it isn’t something that can really be verified unless you do it yourself. I still don’t know if it is real, but I do know I’ve been in a situation where I’ve tried to escape my body and ended up sleep paralyzed, and it got me thinking that sleep paralysis is the realm between the real world and the astral. That is why people can see strange creatures. That is besides the point, though. If you were truly able to acquire the skill of astral projection, you could go anywhere in the world. Fly through the sky, across the ocean. Maybe even cruise through the ocean? I hadn’t thought of that before. I wonder if you’d be able to dive deep into the ocean and still see, then you’d be able to see undiscovered things that lie in the ocean. The world is becoming a dangerous place, sometimes people’s travels end up being their demise. It isn’t good to let fear control your life, but if you are too scared and are bound by your home, astral travel could be a way for you to experience everything you want while staying safe. Also it may be money and a schedule problem that is holding you back. If you had the ability to astral travel, that would be no problem. You don’t have to bother spending money or setting up things for the trip, you can just decide to go. You can see anything you want to see. I’m not sure how real it would feel, but it seems like it would feel pretty realistic. The only thing is, you wouldn’t be able to eat delicious foreign foods with this means of travel, and you wouldn’t be able to interact with certain things. It would still be an amazing experience; it would definitely beat a regular night of sleep.
Life, this journey we are on, is kind of like a game. It is our story and we are playing as ourselves. We are the main character of this game. People tend to think they are more important than they actually are, or they’d like to, but it is true we are all main characters of our personal games. Even if the game isn’t that exciting, it is still your game. Games can get old and boring though. Obviously the game of life is more complex with infinite challenges to unlock, but what are we supposed to do, just unlock as many challenges as we can? It is impossible to unlock every challenge based on the length of the game, so that isn’t reason enough to really want to play the game. Sometimes trying the same things with the same character just gets old. You can drastically change your character if you try, but changing your nature is impossible. You’ll still be that same character, and noticeable changes wouldn’t happen without lots of dedication, which can be easily disrupted. It would be far more simple and desirable to just start a new game with a new character. A character in a different circumstance and with different traits. It would be like reincarnation in a way. But perhaps you could load up the save file at a certain point, it would just be fun to control as that character for a little while. Imagine completely changing nature and everything in just an instant, entering the bodies and minds of others. Then you could unbiased, experience things from the perspective of others. Perhaps if you played on that save file enough and are able to go back to your original game, you could gain the traits of that character. Stuff like this could be possible with virtual reality someday, if it could envelope you enough into a different world. But you can’t just pause your real game, your own life. So you’d have to already be in a place of comfort and non worry in your own life, or else you’d suffer the consequences if you submerged into another game for a long time.
Thinking about a certain topic- taste in music, led me to think about how much people hate change. There are some types of people that just take in every kind of music, new and old alike, but they are pretty scarce. Most people indulge in one or two genres of music exclusively, and reject all other genres. People stick to what they are used to, so they probably got used to a music type while growing up, and other sounds just don’t sound right to them. I know it is like that for me with rap music. Though there are some rap songs I found I enjoyed, the majority just turn me off because of the way they sound. I am used to a classic pop and classic rock sound. Now on to the more broad topic of change. People don’t only hate change, but some people can’t change. Like with habits, people get trapped. Habits are a whole other topic to tackle. But yeah, changing yourself, changing what you are used to, that is hard. It is why obesity and many other health problems today are hurting people (especially in the US), people get used to this certain kind of taste, and they don’t want that to stop. This is a difficult problem because healthy food is more expensive and unhealthy food is less expensive and more convenient to grab. It doesn’t mean it is unsolvable, but many people won’t change unless someone else intervenes or they find reason to change in themselves. If someone has family and are at risk of dying, that would be their motivation to change. That shows how hard it is for people to change, that they have to wait until they are at the verge of death before they do anything about it. Some people won’t even stop a habit if they know it will kill them, because it is just that hard to change. I remember before when I was an early teen/preteen, I realized my soda drinking was having effect on me. I used to be one of the fastest runners of my friends, but then I wasn’t. I was just consuming too much soda. Of course you can’t quit something you are used to instantly unless it disappeared, but that would just really mess with somebody. What I ended up doing was having other sugary drinks that were less harmful than the soda to stop my dependency on it. Iced tea is what I had, and then switched to apple juice/ grape juice. Then drank more water. Changing is definitely not an easy process. If I were to throw myself a bone and drink more soda, I would start craving much more. I just have to keep control. My wish isn’t to ban it from myself completely because it is something I enjoy, but just to limit it. If I didn’t find reason to change, that habit would have probably continued. Since I have fast metabolism I stayed skinny, but I was still physically unhealthy. I’m sure a change in size would have made me more motivated to get in shape, but that is just not how my body works. I at least was able to find motivation enough to change because I had a desire to be healthy. Even with my lifestyle of being on the computer and playing video games, I had the desire to change. Though this computer habit is still a problem. Damn change is hard!
Bigfoot is a mysterious creature. At this point, the majority believe his existence is a joke. They believe anyone who thinks he is real is crazy. Everyone played right into Bigfoot’s big hands. Bigfoot is real, he is very real. He isn’t even a he, he is a she. Well she is a she, she is not he. Bigfoot equals a woman. She never told me her real name, it was obvious she still didn’t want to be identified. I’ll never forget this girl I met on that fateful camping trip. Perhaps I’ll write about the trip itself another time. For now though, I’ll focus on what the girl told me. This girl at the moment was a very pretty girl with stunning bright blue eyes that would catch anyone’s eyes, I was captivated. It of course made believing her story even harder. A girl like this walks up to me and tells me she is Bigfoot, and I’m supposed to believe her? It had to be a joke, I thought to myself. But then the more I observed, I realized she was very tall. It made her even more like a model, though. But then I look and see her big feet. But some women just happen to have big feet. Bigfoot was known for his big feet yeah, but he was more known for being a weird freakish hairy bipedal creature. I admit that I thought she was messing with me, but then I realized how serious her tone was. I couldn’t detect a lie. So I kept listening to what she had to say. This woman told me that she actually had a normal childhood, and used to be a normal sized child. She had lots of friends, her life was great. But then once the magic age of puberty hit, her life was changed forever. She grew tall and her feet got pretty big. That would have been bearable though. The unbearable part, was being as hairy as a bear. Her hair grew and grew and grew. It was everywhere, over her whole body. Her parents thought she was a freak and disowned her. She was a very beautiful girl, with very beautiful high class parents. Parents who bragged about her all the time, but then this happened. They didn’t want to face the embarrassment. Those cowards. She believes that they ended up making up some kind of story about her disappearance. She didn’t dare go and prove that wrong, because she just wanted to be away from people herself. She had no desire to be a member of society anymore. She just couldn’t. Her life would never be the same. So she fled into deep woods, where she could be at peace. But other people go to the woods, and of course she would still draw attention to herself. She couldn’t have just hid in a cave the rest of her life, she wanted to see more of the world. Bigfoot had a plan, though. She knew it was risky to draw attention to herself, but the plan was to draw attention away from her by drawing too much attention to her. Making her end up like an overused joke, so eventually people don’t want to hear from it at all. Bigfoot ended up getting the help of an outdoorsman she found in the woods. She intimidated him, and got him to take a photo of her. The photo spread, and the world was fascinated with Bigfoot. But it all just ended up seeming like a hoax. Her work was pretty much done there too, because a bunch of people ended up staging sightings, making the whole Bigfoot thing lose more credibility. So when people do end up actually seeing her, she is safe. If necessary she can shave all the hair off her body, though the reason she cant keep that up and live normally is because there is still all the hair follicles covering the whole body in places that it shouldn’t be. It grows back fast, she can’t keep up with it. Before my very eyes I got to see a beautiful woman transform into a beast. She was beauty and the beast in one package. Her existence really is a sad one, but I actually think she is happy with the way things turned out. This is who she is now, and she can be one with nature without worry. Not gonna lie, it would be great to have the whole world be your bathroom. May Bigfoot live in peace for the rest of her life. And soon there will be little feet running around, because I impregnated her.
This post is bananas. What did we do to deserve bananas? Now, bananas are not the best food in the world. That is true. But they are very good for you and taste decent. Bananas are great. That was a lot to take in, but bananas are a lot to take in. I mean the size of some of those things are insane. Some bananas are a little smaller of course, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t as delicious. But that is beside the point. I not only eat bananas themselves, but they help make smoothies delicious. They make them smooth and are a key ingredient to some smoothies. And for that, I thank them. I am trying to say we should appreciate bananas more. There is such a wide selection of food, it can be easy to overlook the individual foods. Bananas come from tropical regions and are transported all over the world because of how great they are. Most everyone has that knowledge, but don’t think about that. I certainly will appreciate bananas more.
What lies in store for me? I’m sure many are wondering this. I’ve seen many people dead set on what they want to do for what seems like their whole lives. As if they knew they wanted to be a Toe doctor when they were still in diapers. This was their dream, and they have been chasing that dream for so long, and they have complete direction in life. They have a plan, and nothing is messing with that plan. That person I just described is me. If I happened to have direction in my life. Which I don’t. So yeah, that isn’t me. I know many people are in this same boat, just chillin out. But it is not relaxing at all, it feels like this boat will have holes and could leak at any moment. Or it is like a little dinky boat, and you feel like you’ll never upgrade to a bigger nicer boat if you can’t find direction. For me, figuring out what I want to do is difficult. I recently graduated high school and am going to college soon. I couldn’t find a job and my endeavors to make money from home aren’t amounting to much. So for now I will just keep writing and see what happens. Either way, I know getting myself to do this writing is valuable. I think one of my problems is committing to something all the way. I see something that I may want to do, but I don’t delve into it fully incase it doesn’t work out. When I really should be committing to it all the way. Some aren’t in the best positions to do this either, but many people take those risks and it pays off. I’m glad I at least have chosen to go to college, I do believe it will help me find direction. And with it being community college, it won’t be as much debt. So hopefully this will help me find my direction. It is possible I won’t right away, but I’ll just have to wait and see. Everyone wants success to lie in their future. But not everyone can be successful. It is pretty sad if you think about it. There are crushed dreams everywhere. People who have dreams to do something or become something, but can’t because of the realities of life. Sure if they really tried they could have made it happen, but if everyone else were to really try, then not everyone could get what they want. You’d have to be trying harder than another person. It would just end up being about who wants it more. This is just how society can function though, there are probably few who grew up wanting to be a garbage man. But someone needs to do the job. Things will get more interesting as robots take more and more jobs. I hope my dreams don’t get taken away from me by robots.